Most of the time Yoga is not about my body, it is about my heart. Today, as my feet are planted firmly on the mat and my arms are stretched wide in “warrior” pose, I can feel my strength. I feel the strong stamina and fortitude I have lately been doubting. It rises in my body and settles inside somewhere deeper like a wave breaking on shore. Coming home to a timelessness, beyond the 5 senses. I feel the fingertips of my teacher press gently, firmly into the space of my back between my wings and adjust my heart slightly upward. I am completely unaware of her approach until the divine guidance of her subtle touch changes the electricity flowing through me and suddenly my heart opens. It simply expands to shine upwards and radiate out into the room. Tears flow down my cheeks as awareness comes. Water floods the dessert as undeniable truth from the deep well of my reserves bursts forth. I am open. I am light.
Suddenly I am aware how closed my heart has been.
I am aware of the dark doubt and insecurity that has clouded me these many months as I endured a worldwide pandemic.
The fear of not being strong enough to prevail has closed my heart without me even realizing it! This realization comes to me as I pose in “warrior”, that I have been operating in the defensive stance of a closed heart to endure the isolation and deprivation. As my heart turns upwards to the sky and gains strength from the balance of my body it opens to the wisdom of who I am, and suddenly this warrior has no doubt, no fear and is in complete authority. The universe is supporting my feet while divine light tugs my heart open through the crown of my head.
I am standing my power, there is no longer any need to be defensive, I am quietly and simply triumphant.
My brain stores sensations on a mental shelf to chew on after my practice. I continue through my poses, inward focus, to keep opening my heart. I notice the creaks in my joints like a door that has not been opened in a while. The metaphor is not lost on me. What happens on the mat is always a metaphor for life off the mat. Today’s awakenings are no different.
On the drive home I take the previous heart opening off the shelf and start to unpack it. I think maybe to some extent we all had to close our hearts to get through the covid 19 pandemic, lest we shatter under the weight of all the death and loss and confusion. We lost not just people but connections, the things we love, freedoms. And we also lost faith and trust in structures we turned to for guidance. Under the reality of such restriction and confusion, our desires defensively contract. We retrain ourselves to want less, to feel less, to get through. Whether its conscious or not the heart closes when the storms come, like a window against the rain – it is instinctual to shut it. We start to operate in a “brace for impact” survival kind of way. Maybe it is impossible not to close the heart under so many traumatic events.
This idea that the Covid pandemic closed my heart somewhat without me knowing is a sad reality.
To think externals, have such power to waltz in and so easily close a door that I had worked so hard and for so long to open is maddening and daunting. I feel sad and a little pissed. But as I step into a higher place and allow those emotions to flow through me, I examine what they need. This awareness and its uncomfortable feelings are asking for validation of my humanness. I need to accept that this sadness is natural and needs nurturing. It wants me to be free to do so. The understanding comes then of the ability of this involuntary heart closure to unite us all when the awareness of universal need comes through. The heart opening after these universal and involuntary heart closures are an opportunity for such deeper connection among people – deeper than we humans have ever felt before. By using the awareness of the disconnect to heal and connect deeper. Maybe that was the true purpose of this global event all along. It explains why now when we are back to normal, I keep hearing people say, “It feels different”, “Normal feels weird”. Because WE are different! After being closed and restricted and then reopened, most of us now require more! Normal is no longer satisfying.
I am reminded of an arrow and its strategic purpose.
It is in the strength of the pulling back that we aim farther and are more likely to hit our target. In 2020 we were all pulled back, closed off. Maybe this reset, respite although challenging was just a pull back so we could aim farther than before. When this theory is applied to the opening of our hearts it makes perfect sense. A divine plan for expansion of the human species – executed through needed contraction. This occurs as the South Node of the Moon (past karma) is in Sagittarius (the archer/arrow) symbolically perfect and can be no other way. As above so below. The stars always align to teach us the earths events.
Here through reopening our hearts defensive and instinctive withdrawals we meet an opportunity to open them wider.
How? Through connection. By bathing in the well that was denied us. Human connection especially deep heart connection with others and with ourselves heals us and brings awareness and power to our lives. If we remain closed, we will miss this grand time of spiritual renaissance and enhanced light and love.
As I stood this day in warrior pose, heart open to listen – the mere touch of just a fingertip against my back brought me to all this awakening and revelation. And in the full circle motion of loves eternal sphere the healing purpose of all the crisis of the past year was revealed to me. Imagine how powerful our embraces are to awaken and heal.
The power of touch to awaken us and stir the force of love within must never be underestimated or forgotten.
Love is a force created to connect us with the power of healing and unite us as one. I now understand that no matter what the circumstances are of our challenges, the ease and support needed to navigate them comes from the bigger challenge of keeping our heart open during the process. Staying in our warrior pose heart lifted, open and strong against anything that comes. Thus, every challenge is a healing crisis, an adversity given for our healing, to show us our strength and balance. A healing orchestrated by a wise and loving universe. Pulling us back like divine arrows so we can aim farther.
Beliefs for Healing – By Georgia Rose